Wouldja look at that… its the 100th* post milestone.
I’ve just recently finished a week of reservist and come down with flu. The heat, humidity and being surrounded by 100 other guys would do that to you. And too often does my busied mind think of mortality when its host is ill. For the first time, my occipital lymph nodes swelled up (back of the head) - and the thought of cancer crept in, abetting the ongoing concerns on existence.
As I write this, Singapore and its neighbours are being reminded of climate change. Gosh is is it hot. It reminded me of my time back in Teresina.
As I try to lie down a bit more this weekend:
A grilled sandwich is in the oven at the moment;
Wistful nostalgia imprinted beneath closed eyes.
I don’t drift to sleep.
What does drift by, is time and existence, and it is in these soft moments of slitude that my mood floats towards a retrospective dream, not fevered, but very much flu-ed.
The sort of post to realign mentally, patiently recover physically, and re-immerse spiritually in a sea of contemplation.
I expect some changes to come soon. Slightly sad changes, although, in the bigger picture, it is not so bad, and we endeavour to do what humans do best - adapt.
I look back to the time when I stood at dawn of the first post - during the early onset of COVID. And I consider how I’ve moved on to two jobs since, started something of my own, found some anchors along the way, developing my thoughts and understanding of the world in a deliberate way as a means to keep up with myself and the times.
But the energy gains and wanes according to circumstance.
*Which its really not - discerning observers would notice that posts 16-25 do not exist (due to drafts stuck in archives), hence in actuality, this is post 90 or so… but relabelling all posts would be far too arduous a task.
The mood today
I was ironing and listlessly watching youtube - the future of the economy; amongst other things. My contemplative mood was drawn to a surprisingly recent video that collated insights from a very wise Lee Kuan Yew about life.
And thus began the engine of reflection, based on the video’s key points. Largely listed as things I broadly agree and resonate with.
On Materialism, Career and self
Firstly, I’m largely in line with not being very materialistic: wearing the same clothes was a point that resonated well for one rather disinterested in fashion and material trends. I lean to being purpose rather than being purely materially driven.
Second, being attuned to creation. I think this blog is a reflection of this. Along with my interest past and present (In chronological order: Music, Cooking, non-fiction writing, and now possibly fiction writing).
I would agree that a life fulfilled is one with generation, and not just consumption.
Thirdly, the wavering “sense of self” in an age of information overload links to the first two: being freed from trends and being deliberate in synthesis of my own principles and frameworks has deepened my understanding and definition of myself.
Fourth, the phrase “playing the hands you’ve been dealt” is one that I use a lot. It speaks to the known restrictions of a circumstance, and making the best use of it - in this case: doing things that one has been “favoured by nature to do”.
As an individual (and related to the previous point), I’ve learnt to take ownership of my curious persona and overactive, anxious mind. The former, guiding and giving confidence to some decisions i’ve made, and the latter, acknowledging its hereditary roots, and being disposed towards seeking discomfort and challenge.
Lastly, I’d like to continue to incubate “the spirit of adventure”, though it is difficult to mimic the intense wanderlust of the early /mid-20s, I shall try to seek adventures passively.
Bilingualism and International experiences
Fully accepted and aware its one of my critical weaknesses. My recent surge in exposure to China has been helpful. However, I teeter on the possibility of immersing myself for long periods of time abroad, frequent short trips will have to suffice.
Relationships
“Love the woman you marry > marry the woman you love” I think theres wisdom in that - its a balance of the right choice and the right effort. I shan’t comment too much more.
Health
For me, running and cycling are activities certianly in line with exercising to remove the “cobwebs’ of the mind.
I look at it purely from biological terms (endorphins), and do see that exercising has an almost 100% success rate of feeling better.
My thoughts after this post: Consistency is key, and the themes of health and creation have been part of this year’s plans and aspirations.