TLDR;
- I talk about major events that happened to me this year;
- On the topic of major events, some are more major than others, and have a long-lasting impact on your life’s trajectory;
- I talk about and take stock of such events in the past decade of my life.
- I roughly list some objectives for 2021.
2020 - What a Year
With the year drawing to a close, I thought I might - as fashionable as it is - do a quick retrospection for 2020.
Key moments that impacted me include:
- Ended a relationship - I still mull that I there are many things I could have done better, but it came at a time when I wasn’t in a good state of mind. It was regrettably set on trajectory that would have led me to become increasingly toxic, though I would attribute that much of the fault was mine.
- Renting out a home - Being a good landlord and having a good tenant is important.
- Getting used to the Covid restrictions - nothing serious, but certainly unusual. It was both an introvert’s dream but it did have an emotional and reduced by productivity. Introversion has its limits.
- Got a personal trainer - Gained good weight and lifted weights I could never conceive lifting prior. The accountability was immensely helpful for this.
- The creation of this website - which acts as an outlet and focal point for my smattering of thoughts. Indeed, writing things down and structuring them has been a great help.
- New job - Granting myself a new found independence and direction. Aligned to my inherent view on working in a field that is economically (practical) and environmentally (purposeful) sustainable.
Immensely grateful that no one I knew directly was too badly affected by the pandemic. (1 Infection, no deaths)
Making Me, Me and You, You
I contemplate that major events are important, particularly if there is a long-term effect on the individual.
And so I ask: What shapes a person?
I think that “experience” is an important aspect and a good-enough answer. We human beings live, lose and learn. I am intrinsically motivated by the last - it is what gets me out of bed in the morning. But! Just as important are the enabling factors (e.g. family, friends, exercise, diet, vice), and an direction or purpose to apply it to (e.g. pragmatic sustainability - !to tag the post!).
Yet experientia are not created equal. There are some pivotal moments, or phases in life that have deeply impacted and shaped me. Many of these lessons have evolved into fairly concrete set of values / beliefs.
The inequality of experiences changes over time. Many of my core tenets are formed in childhood, “nurtured” by factors out of my control. Others, are formed as a result of individual self-discovery, which I find to be - naturally - more unique and less common as one gets older. People, by design are not meant to be easily malleable throughout their adult life lest they be in a state of perpetual confusion.
Stepping back, my views on contentious topics (read: no right answer) tend to mature over time. Though I say I enjoy the intellectual sparring and debate, I do catch myself being a bit stubborn at times. I can be unconstructively contrarian sometimes, particularly if I notice that someone has not considered other dimensions of the argument. It works well with people I am close to (and trust me), but less so someone new I met.
Despite its reducing occurrence, I am still deeply fascinated whenever there are certain moments in life when a new connection is made or when I stumble across something that makes you fundamentally reassess my assumptions in a constructive way. Working to the next “a-ha” moment is a great source of intellectual inspiration and a joy I’ve found in life.
These are strongly held beliefs, but I do not always execute or apply these well. This is a source of tension and discomfort. It is a consequence of theory preceding practice - I have a natural inclination towards Big-Brain energy but clean-hands.
Nonetheless, progress has been made and execution shall be the core preoccupation to work towards in 2021.
What Made Me, Me
In each year, there were some critical lessons that have shaped my views. In a way, this list charts out my journey of “growth”.
Childhood - Living in Australia and being accelerated a grade, going to an International school, being fit (beep tests were my jam) & smart (until highschool lol), harbouring a World of Warcraft addiction.
// It has shaped me in far too many ways to pen down - adaptability and cultural curiosity…to name just two.
2010 - Military training, Officer cadet school, etc. 10/10 learned loads. 2/10 will never do again.
// It made me less naïve and more cognisant of the stressors in the real world. Effort does not necessarily mean success and there are inherent inequalities in the world. I credit my success and growth during this phase to my adaptability that was nurtured when younger. Mind over matter is another phrase well characterised by the training regime.
2011 - Working as a full-time Officer
// It made me more confident in front of others and forced me to grow out of the the shy-boy precast. It also taught me to deal with real m-fing a-holes.
2012 - Playing music for myself and not for some exam - Improvisation on piano and self composition and basic arrangements.
// If a musical renaissance could ever be an individual experience, it was 2012 for me.
2013 - University life - Learning engineering. I discovered the joy of cooking. Dating & relationships. Being independent.
// The first made me a strong believer in the power of technology to fix problems. The second filled my belly. The last two opened my eyes to a core part of life.
2016 - Being exposed to systems thinking and political discourse (especially coming from a politically-benign country such as Singapore).
// Life changing. It has made me a far more inquisitive person, and no longer see issues at the surface level. My political ideology began to lean towards a benevolent ruler with absolute power (ala Singapore)
2017 - Post-graduation ennui and a good reality check. Timing of relationships.
// The former calibrated my views on what is or isn’t possible to fix in an ideal world. The latter was a painful lesson that timing and phase of life is critical for a long-term relationship. Ouch.
2018 - hmmmmmmmm cant remember. let me think about it. It was a good year.
2019 - Working on topics such as geopolitics, economic development and inequality. The importance of Communication.
// Exposure to these areas has allowed me to apply and execute systems thinking in a professional and personal context. These thoughts have grown and matured - much credit goes to other incredible people I have worked with. But communication is critical enabler for this - especially in the context of abstract topics.
2020 - Good strategy is based on trade-offs. I will refine my thoughts on joining a start up further.
// Optimise your life not around what to do, but what not to do.
Weaker Views
For completeness, there are some topics that I don’t have a strong view on. Mostly because I am part of the privileged majority.
- Race - How might we achieve a fair system (homogeneity of treatment) while retaining a healthy degree of diversity (heterogeneity of culture). Trade off?
- Gender equality - How might we resolve biological inequality with modern definitions of inequality, without letting the narrative spiral (even further) into the toxic state it is in today? What would a gender neutral mediator look like?
And to add - there are also life conditions that have shaped me passively, though I have to constantly remind myself not to take it for granted.
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Upper middle class
// I can afford to take risks others cannot, as I have a safety net.
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Unbroken family
// I believe quite strongly in the value of family and stability.
Goals for 2021
- Sound execution of ideas, thoughts and plans - Ideas are numerous (I have too many) and commoditised. There is great power in execution and application. This is out of my comfort zone.
- Professionalization and publishing the content of this blog - there are novel-enough and good-enough thoughts worth sharing with the world. No matter how small the audience might be, I’d be chuffed if it creates or renews someone’s perspective. (Critique welcome too). Gotta finish the darned backlog at some point too.
- Move out - Need mental space to thrive. Physical environment helps.
- Evolving this blog beyond a random list of topics to one that is a list of viewpoints, frameworks and guiding principles for understanding complex issues in the world.