TLDR;
- I live by a belief system of living in the gray. Nothing can ever be linearly explained. There are complex reasons and interrelations behind everything. It has made me more tolerant of different views, as I seek to understand both sides of an argument.
- This belief system crumbles when I come across an extremist view. I can’t tolerate this.
- This leads to a paradox: Can a belief system promoting tolerance coexist with one is unable to tolerate intolerance?
The Background
One of my core beliefs that came out of my lessons in Systems Thinking (reminder to tag/link here) was that the world can never be depicted in black or white.
At its heart, most things/issues/phenomena can never be explained linearly or directly (e.g. A causes B) and is instead part of a complex system, making it impossible to point toward a single point of causation. Accordingly, it is also impossible to blame any individual or event for the way things are in the world. This practice of looking deeper at the 2nd order or 3rd order causes and effects drives much of my desire and curiosity about the world. Hence, I describe myself as someone who lives, and aspires to thrive in the gray.
This view was formed in 2016 - a time that oversaw what to me was something of a pivotal change in modern society. Watching the rise of extremism across most advanced economies was antithetical to this new belief system I have held since then.
As many of these issues persist, this has only reinforced the need for me to understand things more deeply instead of taking a shallow or reductive view before I form my own perspective. Even so, this perspective is necessarily more complex than it needs to be. It has made it difficult for me to form a strong opinion on many issues and topics. I am by and large enslaved to caveats. Activism is a foreign concept in this belief system. It comes at the cost of passion. (does this make me more boring? Interesting?)
As a result, I am rarely the loudest voice nor most confident in the room. Though, I would be happy to present both sides of the argument and to critique why a one sided view is too simple. For those close to me, my default mode is to play devil’s advocate. But for those new to me, I am just as willing to accept their arguments and agree from the perspective they are coming from.
This balance has made me feel that I have a become a more tolerant individual, primed to understand and take in others’ thoughts and perspectives first before offering mine. Related to this, I consider that the growth mindset is one that needs to be open - one that is hungry for counterarguments to challenge and advance your own thinking.
The Paradox
Yet, there have been moments when I meet someone new or read something online that provokes an immediate feeling of disgust and injustice.
For example, certain viewpoints that breed intolerance and a lack of consideration for the counterarguments, too often personified by people who are highly opinionated (and commensurately obnoxious). Some create this reaction in me far too quickly - before I can even attempt to see it from their point of view. When it happens, my own belief system takes a distant back seat to my emotions. Tolerance just crumbles. I am immediately dismissive of the individual and/or argument. There is no turning back. The damage has been done.
In an age of clickbait and people who are mired in their own echo-chambers, I can only hope that I do not come across such individuals too often. This applies equally to those across all kinds of spectrums. Extreme liberalism and extreme conservatism are both equally abhorrent in my eyes. The aging “boomer” clinging on to old practices is no better than the hipster millennial radically trying to change the world without first understanding why systems were built the way they were in the first place.
And so there it lies - the one tension point of this belief system. I can never be tolerant of those who are unable or not equipped to see/balance both sides of the argument.
Is this not what intolerance is?
Can a belief system of tolerance coexist with the intolerance of the “interolerables”?
I wonder if there is a word / study on this phenomena - when a belief system holds….right up until it turns into a critique of its own existence.
Related article on tolerance, though slightly different context: I Can Tolerate Anything Except The Outgroup
Makes me wonder - what is my outgroup?