A heavy title - Ah my friend Finitude, we meet again.
I have not fallen sick since November 2021, and to fall ill recently allowed myself to stay in an entire weekend. Sensible - given an upcoming trip to China.
This post serves nothing more as Sunday night reflection.
Doing more
I have been terribly grateful that my health has been in good shape. A post-Covid lockdown health report tells me that I merely need to take more Vitamin D, and that the rest of my test results are superbly fine.
But being ill for the first time in a long time reminds me not to take these things for granted. True - it appears to be merely a common cold. It was 9 months since my last illness, and I had almost forgotten how much of a pain in the ass it is.
I also deliberate that I am often torn between Doing More and Doing Less. I like to keep myself busy. Productive. I do more because there is a finite time for us on earth. Its been a bit of an unhealthy obessions and drive, but I suppose its kept me alive so far.
But falling ill allays some of this. It is a reminder that Doing More is not the be-all end-all, and that I have a wide berth to Do Less.
With this, the pretence drops. The person for the outward world (achieving, performing) takes a back seat. I focus on the self. I tend to be terribly babyish about the slightest discomfort. I take precautions, including closing myself off to the world (though not to this blog), both physically and frankly, emotionally.
A (fevered) introvert’s dream
In the guise of recovery, I find myself alone. Not well to leave the house I say; as I retreat into the darkness - a guiltless pleasure in a socially acceptable form of solitude and anchoritic bliss. Celibate and abstinent to all but the revelry of me and myself.
But it has been, peaceful. With no expectations, and the occasional message of care. Indeed a good measure of introversion is how daunting I might find a 10 day quarantine wehen I visit China. And I don’t fear it. One might say I am secret looking forward to it.
Doing Less
A final point on doing less. When getting medication, my Doctor mentioned in passing that my common cold symptoms tended to last quite long. I found this to be true. I normally experience a…unsavouriness lingering in my throat and respiratory system days or even weeks after a bout of illness. He attributed this (perhaps in line with data) to having childhood allergies.
I am a big believer in the theory that the rise of allergies is connected to an unsually sanitary upbringing as a baby. An expression of love can manifest itself as a manufactured environment, but one too pristine and clean for the grime and filth that humans had evolved to deal with. Not all bacteria is bad. And it takes pain (discomfort, illness) to be better, and be More.
But it can be rewarding to Do (a bit) Less.