Indeed, one target in 2023 was to deeply review my personal relationship with my career. Well its the end of 2023 now, and I wouldnt say things are necessary peachy or rosy. The path is still gray: a rollercoaster of opportunity, failures, wishes, effort, lack of outcomes, tangibility, intangibility. And with this it makes it harder to swallow, when one feels to connected to the outcomes and success at work. Even more so - when many of these are not within one’s control.
Indeed, I identify as someone quite disposed towards being emotionally invested in work. A double edged sword, which i’m I’ve stated before. The question of identify boils down to this:
When asked - what do you do? Its too often that I say (with a level of pride or shame that wanes depending on the day and situation) , my day job, with the justifcation that i spend most of my waking hours and days doing it, and is something that i think about often (on leave, on break…etc unfortunately).
While objectively and quantitatively, this reply seems to make the most sense, there are also the Basic things: Being a son, a friend (and for others, a husband, a father, etc) , are also other differentiators of how one spends their time. And it is these “basic” things” that tend to be the things that people on their final days, would say matter the most.
Yet today, I feel I have the emotional capacity to invest deeply into a role i find purposeful. Most other emotional aspects of my life are, with gratitude, quite stable.
My mental model behind this, is that in-absentia of other troubles, i instead turn to purpose and fulfilment in the fields where I spend most of my time and meaning.
But there are things I can attempt to do a bit better, as I look back on 2023 and towards the next.
To be a good friend and son is something I’ve sought to spend a bit more consideration on. (could do better, no one really teaches some one how to be afterall). Treating other people well and with kindness. Looking after myself in a way that doesn’t cause me to lose control of how I interact with others. Exercise and self disciline. Back to basics.
In the long term, I expect this to evolve and possibly drift towards a more balanced approach. But that time does necessarily mean now, although keeping sights of the fundamentals and core values is definite.
Further reading: What happens when your career becomes your identity