I met a good friend one night for dinner.
We were weary of work. A tired Friday night. And as commiserating souls do, we spoke about happiness. He asked “one a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?
I paused and reflected, as one does facing a question of such gravity.
And I felt that I went a 4/5 to an 8 in two years.
1. Finding the North Star
Clarity on purpose and meaningful work - but through a few bouts of introspection, I had essentially found a desire to find work that is mission-driven, Sustainability, currently, fell nicely within both of these segments. I drilled down further, as I had written in my career post, on the intersection between Hardware, Technology and Sustainability.
2. Accepting the Trade Offs
Could I earn more by working in another industry? Could I work less by not working in a Hardware startup (those who know…know…)?
Probably (absolutely) yes.
But the north star helps. It has helped to rationalsie the trade offs and goals that I am working towards. Important, if you’re like me and tend to have an anxious disposition. Sometimes we can feel like drowning and get pulled down by the currents - of comparison to others; being hard on ourselves for perceived mistakes; of unsaid expectations.
One just needs to remember to look up and breathe and know that the Star is still there.
3. Nailing Who and What matters
I have been greatly privleged to be in a position wheree bad drama in my life is minimal. Its been serendipitous to come from a position of great stability, and moreover, picking up and meeting engaging, inspiring and good-hearted people who can propelled me along my way in both goods times and and. It is with deep gratitude as well, for the few that I feel truly comfortable with - that I have found “allies” in my life. People who know you in and out; who are enablers, listeners and safe spaces amidst the overarching buzz and noise in the world. Finding, nurturing and loving good allies in life is a great blessing. As is a complete support system.
On the flip side, I naturally tend to avoid people who add unhealthy excitement in my life. Pettiness, unkindness…has no room in my emotional bank. Good drama is fun and juicy, but bad drama is…just bad.
4. Picking the right battles
Over time, and I suppose through tribulations - one does end up seeing too many battles. and picking the one that matters again - becomes readily apparent. This breaks free from the initial (groomed) trait to be a perfectionist and get everything right.
5. Being less hard on ourselves
We can all appreciate our own efforts a bit more. I think its common for people early in their careers, by the nature of work we may do, attribute it to being a few steps too far away from seeing our direct impact materialise.
I still struggle with this. Our greatest critic are often ourselves. But I (see 2.) appreciate the necessary trade offs. Something that I recgonise has built me into a highly driven person as well. Would I want to go easier on my self? Definitely, but I do like the drive as well.
Appreciating both the perceptions of ourselves, and wholly embracing the appreciations of others took a while for me to understand. My stack of humblecards are is still full, and I struggle to accept compliments. But its a mindset shift - to break free from the good ol’ imposter syndrome.
6. Knowing your Relax Switches
Everyone has their way to relax - to recognise and flip these switches at the right time is important too.
Comes with experiencing new things, and knowing when we need it the most.
Getting There
It would be nice if there was a way discover and achieve these things sooner rather than later. It is but just one step towards the ultimate “peace” that I had suggested in my previous post. For 4. and 5. at least, what enabled this was a clear and concious decision to join and small company; and run a side hustle (thankfully seems to be doing relatively ok)
Both have been invaluable experiences to demonstrate individual worth, and not the worth perceived by others - as we so often struggle to break out of. And to recognise the worth of oneself.
Entrepreurship helps soothe - that with the back against the wall, one can still survive and possibly thrive, even after building something from scratch.