Why do I work?
This post came out of a clear mindedness that work is a big part of my life currently. Its also been during these times, that a simmering discourse around the antiwork has emerged, which pits the worker against the system, or whichever symbols or idols that the system represents.
Antiwork in the west; tang ping and bai lan in the east - the movement is universal in advanced economies.
I’ve seen this manifest not only through theory, but in my personal relationships too - As I enter my 30s, there are several people carrying a disillusionment or uncertainty when it comes to work.
Some do not really need to work eiher, which jars a little with my values, and I have to silence my inner judgemental gremlin.
This reflection serves as a foil against such narratives, to understand and empathise with my inner motivations and where that aligns or misaligned with the greater society.
Risk and Reward
Work has largely been going well so far.
Work has turned out to be a receptable for a deep rooted pursuit of excellence, which has also seredendipitously created an element of extraordination in how things have unfolded thus far.
Extraordinary as far as it is different to expectations and my engrained notiond of work being limited to working in large corporate companies, as was the white collar dream of an asian societ in the 90s.
Not incorrect, mind you, as the glitz and glamour of MNCs in the late 90s to 2000s, the hard slog of entrepreneurship and its risks were irrelevant, and unnecessary.
My decision to leave the government to join the startup world was an unnatural decision to many - some supportive, others sceptical. But the thirst for knowledge and practice has drawn me out of the realms of the intangible (inevitable, in larger companies) to the tangible, where each daily decision has an impact.
Personal Quirks
But here are some working habit about myself that I must contend with the norms. Ranging from stupid, to just merely different. Some recurring themes are i) guilt, ii) emotion, and iii) values. Odd things to pack in my work baggage…
Guilt
I feel bad about claiming benefits - its stupid, and I don’t get it. Indeed, I tend to skimp over benefits when considering work…
Its easy to reason that work is for its benefits. I don’t fundamentally believe its wrong, but it is not my second nature, perhaps even my third or fourth nature, to exercise this contracted right.
Somewhere within, it feels natural to apply myself fully and wholl dedicated during working hours - I feel odd and uncomfortable when a coffee chat goes too off topic and non-work related. Overtime is also of second nature to me. I don’t tend to complain terribly much about it.
Emotion
I find myself having a high tendency to get emotionally invested in work. The success of the team, company, individuals are all areas I think deeply and care about.
These traits me a stellar employee, but runs against the grain of conventional wisdom - that work is for the benefits and not something to be too attached to.
My values and worldview
Why? Aside from the practicalities of money and general wellbeing, I’ve sought to think and be clear on why I do what i do (no doubt, it will come in handy on late nights):
- Early idolation of work - for we take after what we observe when young.
- Routine and purpose - points, but equally a possible void in other things (life is quiet undramatic outside of work..and i’d like to keep it that way).
- Virtuous cycles of positivity - A core principle (which I shall discuss in other posts) is that so far hard work has been rewarded. This, even true despite my shoddy ability of marketing myself.
- A romanticised, societal view - of being self-made, a desire to deserve the fruits of my labour.
But there are other innate factors.., I’ve sought to wear the hat of self-awareness and reflect on the subtler,forces driving my behaviour:
- Individual ego - a belief for greatness, supeirority and confidence in what I do. An unsatiable, if at times torturous drive.
- Societal comparison - I’m driven to find “Purposeful Success”, as a benchmark to draw the inevitable, selfish comparisons against others. Purposeful in my own definition and fulfilment, but Success in the context of others and achievement.
- Continued upwards growth - and the commensurate pursuit of excellence; I’ve never been one to languish in stillness.
- Exercising survival instincts, the challenge, the grit - Work is a channel to exhibit the purest form of surviving (a valued contributor), in the truest environment of Global competition (open markets)
- Security and control - particularly if I have a strong degree of influence and autonomy in the work I do
- Operationalise theories and strategems - A thinker by nature, I chase the validation from my belief>observation>frame>test. Especially the principles in my mind around human interaction and more.
Quirks and thoughts are my own
But in and amongst the circle I’m with, people I’ve encountered - I do not believe my views are that of the majority.
So, best to figure out what and why people work fundamentally (more so in the transcendentsl types). Yet another effort to pursue, understand, and frame the knowledge of the world.
Side note: having (though not necessarily taking) the perspectives of the majority, makes one better address and build a foundation that caters for the lowest common denominator. To being a better manager, perhaps.